I miss the thrill. The feeling of being alive and free. The thrill of indescribable senses coursing through my veins. The adrenaline rush of emotions. Smiling till my cheeks hurt.
The feeling of being infinite.
It's gone and it's been missing for a long time. The people who brought about those feelings are gone and it isn't anyone else's fault but mine. I asked for it. Now i regret it.
Bad decisions and now i've lost the thrill.
Maybe a hint of it may resurface on that day.
But i will be spending the day with you and i dont really like you.
School's nothing but a bore now too.
I think my patience for the people in my school is wearing thin. Everyone's getting very ridiculous and unnecessary arguments are occuring. Unhappiness and resentment blooms in everyone because of these unnecessary fights. I know i am in the wrong often for talking about it, more negatively than positively. I do feel guilty afterwards though, and if i could, i would apologize to everyone i've wronged. Yet something's holding me back, maybe it's the fact that i know if i apologize, it'll just make it seem as if it's all my fault and none of the other party's. This would just lead to the other party never changing. So i bring up nothing and stay quiet.
Then i listen to people talk and i can do nothing but shake my head. It's not just the people in the same level, but the youngin's, and even the older ones are ridiculous. This whole world is getting quite insane.
Lessons are alright though. I'm enjoying chemistry lessons and maths. Art is the major stress factor but i just want to get it over and done with. Art's like a rollercoaster ride, you can feel pleased and suddenly depressed all in one minute. Or one second even. Alright, maybe not a second, maybe in five seconds. But yes, you get the idea.
I can't wait to get out of this school.
O Levels coming really soon, its nothing but study study and study on everyone's minds. Stressful huh. I'm giving Direct Poly Admission a go since i really know what i want. Arts Business Management, be good to me and let me in. And if not, Psychology, you do your thing and let me in then. I really hope i get through.
I cant wait for July 26th. I'm catching We Are Scientists live! (and some other irrelevant crappy band called Neon Trees). I hope i don't get let down, the way MGMT let me down. Reviews for WAS have been pretty good so far, especially on their stage presence. They're really funny dudes and i hope they bring it on stage. Fingers crossed i'll have a good time.
Meh.
